firefly garden

How to Be an Ally

cub-with-a-k:

NEWS FLASH: Just because you don’t automatically hate someone based on their sexual orientation does NOT mean that you aren’t a raging homophobe.

You want to know how to actually stop being an ignorant prick and start being a good person? Here are some tips:

1. DO NOT express your annoyance at a person or object by describing them as “gay.” You may not realize it, but when you call anything “gay,” even if you don’t hate gay people, you are demeaning their sexuality. You are saying that being gay is stupid, irritating, and messed up, and that is actually very insulting. It’s hurtful. Your words make your friends feel like they are less of a person than you because of their sexual orientation. Try using the words listed above instead.

2. DO NOT call anyone a “faggot,” even if you don’t mean it. Even if you’re saying it to your buddy as a joke or something, just don’t do it. That word is hurtful and offensive; it is not a joke. It goes right along with the connotations above. Remove that word from your vocabulary.

3. DO NOT act like you’re afraid that your gay friends are attracted to you or like you. It’s ignorant. You know how you may sometimes pretend to flirt with a straight friend because you guys are just joking around and stuff? Yeah, sometimes your gay friends do that too. Believe it or not, they are still just one of the guys, and many would like to be treated that way. Don’t act creeped out or disgusted when they pretend to hit on you. And if they ever came on to you in a serious manner, there are more mature ways of handling the situation.

4. DO support gay marriage. Saying that you are not a homophobe but that you don’t think two men or women should be allowed to marry is actually quite homophobic. The issue has become very topical recently; casting your vote and showing your support can do a lot.

5. DO NOT believe that once gays can marry, they will have the same rights you do. That’s straight-up ignorant. The gay community still faces harassment, bullying, discrimination, and hate from many people. The rights of your friends are far from being equal to yours; marriage is just the first step. Continue to support them.

6. DO NOT turn homosexuality into a personality trait. Stereotyping your friends is homophobic and ignorant. When describing your gay friend to someone who has never met them, mentioning their sexuality does not describe their personality. Don’t act like being gay influences the way a person acts, what they like, etc. It’s incredibly rude.

7. DO NOT tell people that your friend is gay without them saying it’s okay to do so first. It’s a personal subject. They may be in the closet. Or, it may not actually be relevant or important, need-to-know information. Let other people figure it out or let your friend come out on their own terms. Don’t force them out of the closet and put their personal information out for everyone to know.

8. DO stop hate. Now that you’ve been educated, don’t continue letting your other friends act with homophobia and ignorance toward the gay community. I know it can be hard to speak up and speak out sometimes, especially if your opinion is the minority. But it’s the right thing to do. Be an ally.

(via lettherebecramp)